I'd Like To Know

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Postscript

As soon as the trial was over I scoured the Internet for news stories about the case. One result I came up with was an Opinion piece from the Herald, found here:

http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=169197

For those of you who were to lazy to read it (you know who you are), it concludes with something to the effect of "let's hope the jury doesn't watch too much CSI." This offended me both as a juror and as someone who doesn't like CSI.

Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail

Last week I walked into a courtroom with eleven people who had been complete strangers three weeks earlier and announced that we had decided that a man had committed murder. We announced it to the accused, who stood directly in front of us, to his friends and family to the right of us, and most importantly the judge standing to our right, who sentenced the man to life in prison shortly we walked out of the room.

Three weeks prior, when I first reported for jury duty, I sat in the jury pool for six hours before even being called into a courtroom. I assumed the court would have selected all the jurors they needed before it even came time to interview me individually.

Upon entering the courtroom I learned that, one by one, we would each be taken into the judge’s chambers to answer some questions. The purpose was to see if we were fit to serve in the ensuing trial. The charge was declared: first-degree murder. The phrase carried a certain resonance, and I took it upon myself to avoid making eye contact with the defendant at all costs, for he was seated directly in front of us. At this juncture I literally knew nothing about this man other than the fact that he was on trial for murder in the first degree. At times like that, phrases like “innocent until proven guilty” mean very little to you. As far as I was concerned, I was seated mere feet away from someone who had killed someone else. I elected to avoid eye contact with him at all costs.

Over the next few hours, more people got called into the judge’s chambers and subsequently dismissed, until eventually my number was called. I entered the smaller room to see the judge at his desk, surrounded by the court clerk, the court reporter, both sides of counsel and the defendant. The judge wanted to know things like whether or not I would trust the testimony of a police officer more than the testimony of a civilian, and would I be able to handle looking at gory images. I knew what the magic answers were that would get me booted out the door, but I’m a crappy liar and I got the impression that the judge was an exceptionally good human lie detector. After the brief round of questioning he said, “I find this juror to be indifferent” (gee, thanks), counsel agreed, and I was taken away to the jury room.

Over the course of the trial I learned that the prosecution wanted us to believe that the defendant robbed a convenience store he used to work at and stabbed the cashier to death. It was the defense’s case that the defendant had been nowhere near the store that day, and the police investigation had been poorly conducted. There was, in fact, no forensic evidence linking the defendant to the scene.

The attorneys on both sides were consummate professionals who made strong arguments. As the case went on I subconsciously reversed my initial decision to avoid looking at the defendant. I found myself intently studying any reactions he had to the events of the trial.

The entire jury was a little shell-shocked when it finally came time to deliberate. We had spent the previous three weeks diligently Not Discussing the Case, as per the judge’s orders. Now we had to consider well over 100 pieces of evidence and the testimony of about 30 witnesses and come up with a verdict. While no one really thought the defendant was inculpable, we needed to determine if the prosecution proved its case beyond a reasonable doubt. I was concerned that a mob mentality would set in and there would be a consensus without much consideration behind it. I was thankfully proven wrong as every last juror weighed in with insight, opinion, and intelligence. Three days later we walked back into the courtroom and the foreman reported that we had found the defendant guilty of both armed robbery and first-degree murder on the theories of cruel and atrocious killing and felony murder.

It occurs to me now that I just essentially offered a summary of events without any substantive commentary, so I’ll say this: the murder was appalling and senseless, and I firmly believe we made the right call as a jury. I guess I should take comfort in such an affirmation that the system works, but I can’t shake the feeling that the deck is stacked against people like the ones we learned about during the trial, who live in places like Dorchester and Everett and Roxbury without much in the way of opportunities. Also, the Boston PD is stretched thin. I could see it in the investigators’ faces when they got up on the witness stand. They followed every procedure in the book and came up with nothing. There were DNA samples that went untested because of a lack of resources. There are problems with the system, and the breakdowns are occurring long before a judge and jury become involved.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Early Years: Selected Works, Part II

Only Mel Brooks gets away with creating a Part I and not following it up with anything! This will be the last entry of its kind though, I promise. Unless of course I get ambitious and scan the collage. I have no earthly idea how collage-making is a skill applicable to my command of the English language, but I’m no educator.

Today’s passage appears to be a response to a prompt along the lines of “If you had an entire year to search for one thing, what would it be?” You may think I’m putting to use the critical reading skills I learned while making collages, but I think you’ll wise up when you read the first sentence. Subtlety, it seems, was not my strong point. Nor, for that matter, was grammar. No, if this little tale is any indication, overdosing on old movies and TV shows was my strong suit. I’m still trying to figure out how I knew who Rod Serling was back then. I’ve left all errors intact, so as to truly bring The Funny. Without further ado, I give you…the promised Funny.

It’s Kinda Confusing…

Hmmm… If I had an entire year to search for one thing, what would it be? The lost city of Atlantis? No, too much water. The Loch Ness Monster? Bigfoot? Ghosts? Too scary. This is frustrating. I’ve got to find and idea! Waitaminnit. I know! I’ll search for an idea for this assignment! Glad I thought of it. I’m going to step out of present tense narrative for a while and let the story develop.
But be warned… I’ll be back at the end!!

It all started an average day at school. I was practicing sleeping and acting like I was awake when I realized I needed more practice. I was awake and acting like I was sleeping. I opened my eyes and started paying attention as the teacher was telling us we needed to write a piece talking about what we would search for if we had an entire year to do so.
Later that day as I walked from school, I noticed A kid from our class in a scuba suit. I remember thinking this was odd, as we had just gotten out of February.
He took off his breathing mask.
“I’m going to Scotland. Loch Ness monster,” he said, apparently talking about his writing assignment. I decided to put less caffeine in my diet.

Later, I was home, staring at a blank piece of paper. I had no idea what I was going to write about. It was like I was in a homework paradox.
Suddenly That guy that used to host the “Twilight Zone”, Rod Serling, all in scratchy TV black-and-white and holding a cigarette stepped into the room, talking to the far wall. “This is another kid stuck on a writing assignment. Unwittingly, he has stepped into… the Homework Zone!”
Creepy music came out of nowhere. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, hoping it would all go away. I never got the chance to find out if he left my house, because I wasn’t there anymore.
I was in the jungle.
In front of a big jungle temple, actually. “I’m not going in,” I said, hoping really hard I was right.
“Why not?” Said a voice behind me. I turned around and saw a guy that looked like Indiana Jones. “Who are you?” I asked. “I’m Indiana Jones,” he said. I was about To ask him if they missed him at the meNtal ward, but who’s crazier; the guy who thinks he’s Indiana Jones or the kid sitting in the jungle talking to him?
I’d have to think about that one.
Suddenly little poison darts came out of the walls. Indiana Jones charged into the temple. I didn’t want a dead crazy guy on my hands, so I followed him.
It was totally dark inside. I followed the sound of footsteps. Abruptly, they stopped. I ran to catch up-and fell through a trap door. I landed right next to Indiana Jones.
He helped me up and the ground started shaking. I turned around and saw a big boulder rolling towards us like something out of – well – Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom. I got out of the way back into total darkness.
Suddenly, I was in some casino or something next to a guy in a penguin suit.
“Do I dare ask who you are?” I said, even though I has a pretty good guess already.
“Bond,” he said, “James Bond.”
“That’s what I thought.” I muttered.
“I’m not anywhere near Sanford, Am I? Because I’ve got this writing homework due-”
“Maine?” I think I’ll have to take you in for questioning,” James Bond said. He took me outside to a Junky-looking BMW, but that junky look didn’t fool me one bit. I’d seen enough of the movies.
He tossed me in the back and started driving. I looked up and saw an old armored car, window open and a rifle peeked out and started shooting.
I had had enough. I opened the car door and jumped out. Another old car drove over and I got pulled in. It was being driven by a guy in a yellow suit.
I glanced at a dashboard calendar. It had been exactly a year since I sat down with my homework. All this time, I’d been searching for an idea –
Suddenly the guy’s watch went off.
“Calling Dick Tracy, calling Dick Tracy!” He quietly talked into it for a moment and handed the watch to me. “It’s for you,” he said.
It was my teacher. This was getting too weird. I jumped out of the car – and landed on my sofa at home, in front of the paper you just read. I had found my Idea.


Teacher says: 6 Superb! You have a wonderful gift for writing!

I’m not sure how good a 6 is in terms of, you know, real grades, but it can’t be that bad if the crazy old bird is calling it “superb.” Now, as for why she would do such a thing - this perplexes me.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Early Years: Selected Works, Part I

In a recent ill-fated attempt to rid myself of the omnifarious crap piled hip-deep in every corner of my room, I stumbled upon some of my old writings from sixth grade. The year was 1996, and I was twelve years old. If memory serves, we were required to archive all our work in a folder, a folder which apparently I've managed not to dispose of in the nine years since. The contents of said folder are, without exception, hilarious. I’ve always felt that kids these days are far smarter than I was at their age, and if these little slices of personal history are any indication, I’ve been right all along. Seriously, my memory of those days is a haze of cartoons and sugary cereal. How is that different from now, you ask? Well, now I don’t have to play little league.

This first excerpt is evidently a haiku. Recently I began scheming to write a book of nonsensical haikus, sell it to a publisher, and get filthy rich. Clearly that seed was planted when I first started bastardizing poetry:

Lion
A lion escaped
From the zoo just this summer
CHOMP! Well, you found him!


The word LATE is emblazoned across the page in thick purple ink, along with the following in red ink of a more customary thickness:
“Very amusing! Remember to write final drafts in blue or black ink. A.”

This was a theme in my time as a public school student; teachers approved of my work but saw fit to mark me down due to the fact that I was always either utterly clueless, or blatantly disregarding the parameters of a given assignment. Remind me to tell you about the time I got both a detention and an ‘A’ for handing in a math project.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Song of the Ice Cream Man

Where I come from, he plays Dick Hyman’s “The Entertainer.” You know the one; every time you hear it you expect to see a guy with a bushy moustache and a straw hat juggling whilst on a unicycle. Me, I picture that, but I also get a ravenous craving for ice cream. My taste buds rise up and rail against the roof of my mouth, as if they were screaming for it.

Around these parts, the Ice Cream Man lures sweet-toothed children not with ragtime, but with some tuneless, ethereal harpsichordic musings that would seem more appropriate to some sort of enchanted forest. Now, the fact that his truck is tooling around town playing a different little ditty is not, in and of itself, an exceptional circumstance. But as I pondered the choice of music, I noticed other incongruities. For one, I have never actually seen this Ice Cream Man, or his freezer on wheels. I think that, if he were to play “The Entertainer” and arouse the ice cream fiend within me, I would not be able to find him. Today, on a stroll across campus, I could have sworn I heard his song coming from the quad. While this would be a brilliant business move on his part, I turned the corner to see a patch of grass completely void of frozen treats, or any evidence thereof. He is everywhere and nowhere; less of an Ice Cream Man than some kind of Ice Cream Fairy. Reinforcing this concept is the fact that he is apparently always open for business. I can hear him in classrooms, cafeterias, and dormitories….he is nearby, but so far remains hidden. I like to believe he inhabits a universe parallel to our own, distributing his wares to similarly spectral children, and that our common love for ice cream has caused some sort of overlap, resulting in the delicate strains I hear.